Referee

"Having one child makes you a parent. Having two, makes you a referee."

24 July 2014- the day Junior was born. The day I got promoted to mum of two kids.                   

Also known as the day I became referee.

Senior was born on 2 November 2011. We had officially stepped into parenthood.

It was tough, but after a few rough initial months following his birth, we learnt the ropes. Husbie and me eventually settled down with parenthood and began to enjoy it.

 Soon we considered ourselves pros. (ha!) We proudly exhibited our diaper changing skills, toddler recipe ideas and advice on potty training(taming tantrums were still tough) to our newbie parent friends.

 So after senior turned two and our arms ached to hold a toothless infant, we decided to have no. 2. "He'll have a companion and they'll grow up together", we agreed.

  I am only child and wanted to experience camaraderie between my own kids, something I couldn't-    my reason for wanting baby no. 2. My husband has a sister and they share a wonderful relationship- his reason. We also saw some of our more experienced peers' kids playing happily with their siblings and looked longingly at them. Senior also got bored at home easily and longed for his friends to come over to play most of the time.

So that was it. We got pregnant soon after senior cut his second birthday cake.

And then there came the first nudge.(I would prefer to call these experiences nudges rather than kicks as they were not all that unpleasant now when I think back)

My first pregnancy was a smooth ride. My second, a drive on Mumbai roads in the rains. Morning sickness, shortness of breath, heartburn and severe varicose veins dotted those nine months. To top it, managing a turbo toddler with my growing tummy was a new experience for me(Thankfully, I had immense support from my family, but every mum has her personal experience). That was my first brush with being a referee. What would happen once the baby was out??

 Then there were the doubts. Ok, will I be able to give the elder one enough attention? Will I be able to monitor his daily activities closely? Will he feel upset with me breast feeding the new baby? Will jealousy make him harm his sibling? Could I, as a referee; be fair to either child? How can I handle their fights? These doubts deepened when in my eighth month, senior broke his elbow after a fall when I wasn't fast enough to catch him.

 

  But as they say, only after you jump into the water, do you learn to swim. So now that I've jumped in, I shall learn. I now look forward to managing my boys and live and love the experience, day by day. I know there will be days when I'll cry and doubt my ability to sustain, but I shall hold on. There will also be days when I'll wonder why I ever had kids in the first place; but I'll bounce back the next day.

 So, at last in the boxing ring of parenthood. With a salute to all those mums who are managing multiple kids with such ease, I begin my duties as referee(with husbie, of course). The whistle is around my neck. Tttweeeeettt!!!

P.S.- I just felt comfortable calling the boys Sr. and Jr., their names will be introduced as and when suited.